feelings after the surgery

We had just basically learned that my dad’s life would more than likely be claimed by a cancerous brain tumor, and honestly I was more terrified than I had been throughout the whole ordeal, and that’s saying quite a bit considering we had been going through for so long with so many different “scares”.  This was when I probably needed my sister and mom the most. Like I said earlier in my blog, my mom and I are not really that close, but I was really needing her to keep her cool and be there for me, because I didn’t think I could handle losing my dad without some kind of support. I wanted her to stay strong, but she completely lost, and can you really blame her? She had just learned that her husband of thirty-two years would eventually pass from a brain tumor. While I sat there with my mom and aunt trying to comfort my mom, while choking back tears of my own, my sister disappeared. I had no idea where she went, but this is honestly, when I needed her the most and I couldn’t find her any where. To this day I still haven’t told anybody this, but at that point in time, I had never felt lonelier, I couldn’t believe my sister had pretty much deserted me  in that hospital. It sucked. After my dad, my sister was probably the person I was closest to in my family. She had been there for me through pretty much all of this. This was really tough for all of us, but I was there for my mom, and I was doing a lot better than she was controlling her feelings. My sister had disappeared and was letting me down more than anybody ever had , she was the last person I had ever expected to just disappear.